Status Update

I wanted to watch a number of films this weekend including: Phantom Thread, The Mercy and even the 15:17 to Paris but unfortunately none of those films were available so I ended up with Status Update. Status Update is a stinking, steaming, horrible piece of work and the only thing that kept me in the cinema was thinking about the review I going to give it, but I just needed to make it to the end. Whilst watching, I almost laughed at the plethora of superlatives generating in my head to describe how bad this film really was. Now, I’m exceptionally pleased to share with you, after the suffering I have undergonemy review

Synopsis- Kyle Moore (Ross Lynch) is uprooted from his home in California to live 3,000 miles inland away from his dad (who’s his best friend.) Struggling to cope and fit in Kyle dreads going in to school and finds the reality of his life there just as bad as he could have imagined. He only has one friend, Lonnie Gregory (Harvey Guillen), who most of the school don’t even realise is there; so for the most part he is very alone. But all of that begins to change when he gets a new phone with the U-niverse app and everything he posts comes true. Soon he has everything he wants: the girl, the respect and the life but how long can it last and will the truth eventually come back to haunt him?

Positives- At some points in the film I laughed at the jokes and at other points I laughed at just how stupid the plot was but at least I was laughing, so I was pleased. Moreover, I generally think that all of the actors seem like nice people; so in that respect, I hope they manage to find better jobs in the near future.

Negatives- This film has so many things wrong with it, that I feel I could have done a better job writing and directing a film myself. Some of the failures include:

  1. It is ridiculously predictable: For some films, you may be able to work out what the end scene is if you are good at predicting the story; whereas in this film almost the whole plot becomes explicitly obvious within the first couple of minutes and with the context given to you from the trailer it is just up to the audience members to fill in the blanks.
  2. It is cliché ridden: Status update follows almost the exact textbook definition for how to make a high school movie. Boy goes into school – Boy sees ‘the girl’ – Boy becomes friends with  the school loner – Boy gets bullied – And then there is the introduction of the U-niverse app and things begin to change dramatically. Moreover, I believe that this film rips off a number of other film franchises; most notably the High School Musical series.
  3. It is tooth-gratingly awkward: At some points the sheer stupidity of what was happening on-screen just made me feel incredibly awkward. At other points it was what people said but at least then I was engaging with the film to some extent whereas generally elsewhere I felt completely alienated.
  4. It was just rubbish and boring- None of the plot devices interested me. There were numerous sub-plots developed that added absolutely nothing to my experience. For example over the course of the film, someone, who was clearly very bored during filming, decided you know what we should do, we should see how much we can make Kyle’s sister look like an anime character without anyone caring. I have to say, in that respect it was a masterpiece; as not only in those scenes but also every other scene of the film, I didn’t care what happened AT ALL.

Conclusion- This is the WORST FILM I have ever endured. 106 minute running times usually fly by, but the same can’t be said for this film. This makes Boss Baby (my previous least favourite film) look like a relative work of art. It is TERRIBLE so don’t see it.

My Rating- 3/10

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